• shirinemfreeman

How to Return to Marital Excitement

They say it's the month of love. Well, today I want to share with you some ways to keep your relationship/marriage fresh. Let's face it, we're probably all guilty of losing balance in our relationship at one point or the other. Giving it less attention when other areas of life demands more from you. Kids and even your career can creep in taking over the time you used to spend together. When was the last time you and your spouse sat down to simply talk? Remember how you did it while dating? That's the kind of talk I'm referring to. Though it may not be intentional, it causes your marriage to feel dull, bland, and like a cycle. We'll certainly get out what we put into it but I have good news, all is not lost. You can get back to the fun and exciting time like when you first said, "I do." If you've tied the knot within a year or two, you may still be in your honey moon phase. Feel free to keep reading though because life has a way of sneaking up on all of us.

Here are 3 simple ways to refresh your marriage and creating desire again.

1. Make a schedule

Speaking from my own experience and hearing from other women, it works. My husband and I have a schedule for each other. We allocate time for everything else so we take the same approach when it comes to spending time with each other. Set a time that is convenient for both of you. You can watch your favorite TV show, go out on a date, play board games, watch your wedding photos or just cuddle and enjoy quiet company. Spending quality time together will rekindle love. Stay away from discussing problems or issues during this time.

2. Remember the 80/20 rule

In marriage you will only get 80% of what you want. Ok, ok...sometimes less but we're building and will get there together. I find that many are disappointed in marriage because they are not getting what they expected. Did you make your expectations clear BEFORE the engagement and do you revisit them together? You can always begin today. No one, including yourself can give the other 100% every time. If you do, I'm watching you side eye. Lol. So, be understanding and realistic because. Today he may leave the toilet seat up but tomorrow your hair might be in every room in the house.

3. Check in throughout the day

Simple but powerful. They say sex doesn't start in the bedroom...or as I say, in the living room. That's just the end result. You have to work on "building up." Listen, this aspect of marriage is like a movie. You have to include the sound effects, right tone of voice and animation. Play your part well. Call your spouse when you're away. Even if it's just to hear them breathe. Lol. Don't come for me. This is what we all did while dating. But on a serious note, talking or texting throughout the day makes the end result even more explosive....and if you're honest you're hoping to return to those days. Good news, you can make it happen. Go on, send a text message that will make them drop the phone.

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