• shirinemfreeman

You Have the Right to be Angry!

I don't know about you but I'm going to feel what I feel. When was the last time you were told it's ok to be angry? Can you remember being upset about an issue while growing up but couldn't express how you feel? Or maybe you're that person who was told to suck it up, "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about." Feeling like I don't have the rights to feel brings on a sense of hopelessness. It’s as if your freedom has been stripped from you right before your eyes and you can't do anything about it. Today I'm writing with you in mind. No focus on the other person who didn't allow you to feel. They probably experienced the same and are ignorant to a better way. Today I'm here to remind you to feel because It's your right and its normal.

I remember in the early years of my marriage my husband and I were having a discussion. In our conversation he told me that sometimes I make him angry but he ignores it so it doesn't escalate. (Hey, I never said I was a saint...I got some inner work to do until I give up this breadth) I listened and after he was done I apologized for even creating that atmosphere. Then I said to him, "baby whenever I make you angry I want you to express it." Why did I respond the way I did? First of all, as humans we tend to pass on learned behaviors and some can be unhealthy. Secondly, because the more we suppress our true emotions the bigger the blow up. If it isn't expressed in one way, it will in another. We were created with emotions because they help us process and express feelings, thoughts and action. When we deny them their functions a rewiring of the brain is automatically created. Constantly suppressing anger can one day result in you going numb. You will begin to stop feeling. Your natural ability to respond to life will experience dysfunction. Your ability to function as a normal person will be distorted and that's not ok. You have a right to feel.

My hopes is that you will begin to honor how you were created and embrace all of your emotions including anger. Anger is there to tell you something is wrong. Allow yourself to process what you feel and give that same freedom to others. I'm not advocating for uncontrolled anger, but if that's you please get some help...that's an indication that you have deeper issues you need to address.

I thought the emotion of anger was bad. When it was time for me to use it to process and understand my environment I didn't. At a certain period of my life I never really processed what I felt. It caused a great deal of chaos within my emotions because I literally stopped feeling. You are not a bad person if you let yourself feel what you feel. By all means, feel. Steer your feelings in the right direction in whatever situation you're currently experiencing. It's healthy and it's ok. I recently had a coaching session with a friend and realized many lack the right information about what normalcy looks like in the life of a healthy person. It made great impact in the individual's life and I hope it does the same for you. Let's work on changing our mindset about the way we view emotions. You are normal and are allowed to feel, process and express.

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